My siblings and I have always trusted both of our parents to give us very sound advice when we need it (which is often), but my dad is famously known for giving these nuggets of wisdom that are typically only one sentence long that really, really stick.
He gave me one of these nuggets a couple of years ago that I’ve never forgotten and that has eased my mind when it comes to friendships and expectations as I’ve navigated adulthood.
My parents were in town visiting me when I was 10 weeks pregnant with Hadley. My husband was deployed in Afghanistan at the time, so just the three of us went to a wonderful elective ultrasound studio so that we could get our first peak at my daughter. I’ll never forget floating out of the studio on cloud nine as I studied every tiny detail in the pictures the tech printed for me.
All of my closest friends knew I was pregnant already, but there were a few more friends I wanted to personally share our news with before I announced it on social media. I picked up the phone to call one of my really good friends from college who I hadn’t spoken to in about eight months, and when she didn’t answer I decided just to send her a text of the ultrasound picture. Several minutes later she called me screaming with joy. We screamed and laughed together for the next 15 minutes over my news and catching up on a few other things, and we promised each other that we wouldn’t let that much time go by again without talking.
I hung up the phone beaming and shared with my parents how genuinely happy my friend was for me and how we picked up right where we’d left off eight months prior. I then began to explain how I felt guilty for not being the friend to her now that I was in college, but my dad stopped me in my tracks, and I’ll never forget what he said.
He told me that sometimes we need friends in our lives who don’t require much of us but love us anyway — people who we can still call friends without the pressure to send birthday gifts, weekly phone calls and annual visits. People who we pick right back up with after a long period of time and not have any air to clear.
I’ve thought more and more about what he said ever since then. Sometimes I struggle with the weight of maintaining friendships across the country since we’re physically so far removed from most of my friends, but then I remember my dad’s advice that I don’t have to pour my whole life and exhausting effort into every one of my friendships in order to still call someone a friend.
That advice has helped me tremendously when it comes to setting realistic expectations of my adult friendships.
I’ve always believed that the people who invest in you with their time are often the people worth investing in in return, but that doesn’t mean the rest of my friendships with others have to crumble either. It just means that our mutual expectations can be lower while still knowing that I can pick up the phone any minute to send a text or make a call and pick up right where we’d left off. No apologies, just friendship and meeting each other right where the other is.
Hi! I’m Erica, and I absolutely adore sharing my life on this website with you! I come here almost daily to blab about all of the things related to being a regular wife and mother in today’s ever-evolving society. I share about our new home, what’s on our kitchen table, what we’re hanging in our closets, where we’re traveling to next, my crazy 5 a.m. work outs, how I make time for girlfriends, our faith, and much more. We always have a lot of balls in the air and somewhat thrive on the chaos. I believe in the power of story-telling as a form of inspiration and entertainment, so I’m here to do both! I was born and raised in north Alabama and recently re-planted roots here again after my husband transitioned out of the Army (he is now in the Reserve and it’s going so well!) I’m a super proud mom to two little girls (ages 5 and 2) who seem to be the stars of the show around here (for good reason – they’re pretty great!) I’m so glad you found me and are here reading! I hope we can get to know each other here on the blog as well as Facebook and/or Instagram. xoxo