I was talking about something marriage-related with a relative recently who’s been married 40+ years, and she said something that really got me thinking: so many of us define the success of our marriage based on how happy we are.
She went on to say that obviously being happy is something we should strive for, but always feeling happy because of our spouse isn’t the “end all, be all” for marriage.
“I just wasn’t haaaaappyyyyy” is something many of us have heard or read so many times.
She put it this way: “So maybe you don’t feel happy today, but do you feel like you have a helping hand if you needed one? Do you feel comfortable in your home? Do you feel closer to the Lord? Do you feel financially supported? Do you feel taken care of when sick? Do you parent with someone who is an excellent mother/father? Maybe you’re not happy today, but do you feel like at the end of it, you have your person?”
These were all rhetorical questions as my own marriage wasn’t the one in review, but this advice has stuck with me for months. I’ve found it so humbling and encouraging.
Last night Jamie and I were hanging around the living room when I spilled a drink on my macbook for the first time. I of course panicked while he threw everything he was working on to the side without a word, took my laptop, and immediately started helping. For the next few minutes I rattled off the info I found on my iPhone for what to do, but he’d already done it all – turned it off, got all the water out, turned it upside down, etc. He totally saved my computer. He even called his mom to get her cable log in and password so that I could continue watching Bachelor in Paradise on my phone. True love, folks.
Obviously this is something minor, but I went to bed thinking about my relative’s advice. About how Jamie flew in to help me, like he does so often, and that’s something/someone I need in my life. It’s consciously recognizing the little things that make your marriage the team that it is. He is my person.
Do I even need to add a little disclaimer down here that I don’t have a perfect marriage? That’s assumed, right?! None of us do! I’m also definitely not here to judge if your marriage has crumbled. I’m not a marriage professional and wouldn’t consider this Earth-shattering advice, but I know it’s helped me recognize a lot of small things that make my own spouse such a wonderful team player who enhances my life.
Because my thoughts go from my brain to my fingertips, I wanted to share this advice/conversation with hopes it gives you a little marital boost today, especially if you’re not in a season of feeling very happy. xoxo
Hi! I’m Erica, and I absolutely adore sharing my life on this website with you! I come here almost daily to blab about all of the things related to being a regular wife and mother in today’s ever-evolving society. I share about our new home, what’s on our kitchen table, what we’re hanging in our closets, where we’re traveling to next, my crazy 5 a.m. work outs, how I make time for girlfriends, our faith, and much more. We always have a lot of balls in the air and somewhat thrive on the chaos. I believe in the power of story-telling as a form of inspiration and entertainment, so I’m here to do both! I was born and raised in north Alabama and recently re-planted roots here again after my husband transitioned out of the Army (he is now in the Reserve and it’s going so well!) I’m a super proud mom to two little girls (ages 5 and 2) who seem to be the stars of the show around here (for good reason – they’re pretty great!) I’m so glad you found me and are here reading! I hope we can get to know each other here on the blog as well as Facebook and/or Instagram. xoxo