A few days ago I slapped up a quick post on my Instagram Stories asking if you had any random questions you’d like me to blab about in a post this week. I decided to split up the questions I received into two posts, just for fun. 🙂
Here’s part one, all about friendships, parenting, and marriage.
How do you make mom friends?
I’ve always believed that there are two keys to making genuine, worthwhile friendships as an adult.
First, get up and get out. Go anywhere and everywhere that there may be people in your similar stage of life: a bible study, the gym, a mom’s fitness workout group, story time at the library, the playground, etc. Just get out and go be around people, put yourself out there and start conversation, and eventually you’ll likely find someone who you effortlessly click with. But it won’t be effortless to find those “easy” friendships.
Second, say yes to almost everything, even when you really don’t want to. If someone invites you to something, GO. Of course you may not want to. Why would you want to go when you don’t know the people well (or at all) and will maybe feel uncomfortable? Again, you have to put in a little bit of “hard work” in the beginning in order to find those people who will invest in you and who you invest right back into. But on the flip slide, don’t be that girl who says yes to things and then routinely cancels. I’ve mentioned a handful of times that this character trait drives me bonkers. Don’t be that friend who makes a habit of canceling. (I’ll quietly climb down off my soapbox now.)
How did you focus on Hadley while Sadie was a newborn?
Two things come to mind. First, the very best advice I received before Sadie was born was this: If both girls are crying and need you, focus on Hadley first. The baby will cry all of the time and have no idea that you’re tending to her sibling first, but the older sibling very likely will notice if you tend to the baby first. I tried to practice this often, and it was incredibly helpful in those moments where EVERYONE IS LOSING IT AND I NEED TO CLONE MYSELF RIGHT NOW, HELP!
My other piece of advice is something I actually still try to do today, which is give each kid at least 10 minutes daily of completely uninterrupted time. 10 minutes. That’s it, and then move on to whatever else you need to do. That 10 minutes is nothing to you, but that quality time fills a kids’ love tank tremendously. Right now Hadley and I like to paint nails, read books, work on preschool workbooks, write letters of the alphabet, etc.
Best marriage advice while you have young kids?
The Five Love Languages book transformed our marriage in so many ways, and Jamie would say the same thing. It’s an extraordinary read, especially after you’ve been married a few years and have some real experience to apply and think through while you’re reading it. We have been better able to serve one another and meet each other’s needs after better identifying what they are and learning how to meet them.
I can only speak from our personal experience, but reading this book separately was a wonderful investment in the health and happiness of our marriage. It incorporates so many marital situations where you’re wondering to yourself “How in the world will this couple survive or fix this issue?” And then it explains a great avenue. It’s awesome.
(PS: Jamie did not want to read this book. He’s an avid reader and would much rather read the typical genres he prefers instead of a marriage book. I explained how important it was to me, so he did it “for me”. He ended up absolutely loving it and found it to be an incredibly quick, highly beneficial read. Just a note in case your spouse is resistant to reading it. I think that’s normal!)
What are Jamie’s thoughts on how to prioritize his marriage while being a dad to young kids?
I loved this question so much, mainly because it gave me an excuse to ask him “Hey babe. How do you prioritize me?!” LOL. He said that he’s never given much thought to this topic besides continually watching for windows where he can serve me or make me smile on a daily basis. I agree with him that those “little” things really add up in my eyes and can turn around my bad day in a snap.
I’d love to turn these questions back around for you to answer. 🙂