Whimsical September

A Family + Lifestyle Blog

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Milestones That Leave You at a Loss for Words

Milestones. They’re funny, really.

In regard to motherhood, it’s strange which ones have left me totally unfazed and which ones have formed a serious lump in my throat and tears in my eyes. Some of Hadley’s milestones have left me with a loss for words.
Like the time Jamie came home for lunch and Hadley smiled at him for the first time. I was sitting on the couch holding our six week old baby when he walked through the door, and he immediately walked over and took her from me. He sat down in the recliner right next to me and held her facing toward him. He started talking to her, and then she smiled at him for the very first time. He got quiet, smiled back, and got all choked up while mumbling “She just smiled at me!”, and you can only imagine how that left me feeling. I was a wreck. That was one of the most beautifully unexpected moments we’ve experienced together as a family.
Like the time I rocked her in her dark nursery at four months old and gave her formula for the first time. Everything that she’d grown and thrived off of for months was from my body, and as I sat down to give her her first taste of formula I began to cry. I was becoming too tired from my pumping journey and absolutely knew that formula would nourish her body just as well. It was just another sign that my precious baby was getting bigger.
Like the time I walked into the gym daycare to pick her up and she lit up when she saw my face. She was exactly 10 months old and just two weeks short of walking. I called her name out when I walked in, and she turned around on her hands and knees and loudly squealed, smiled, and raced toward me as fast as a crawling baby could go. I knew that she’d known for a while who I was, but seeing her pick me out from a few others people as her mom just made my heart explode. I quickly grabbed her bag, scooped her up, and rushed out of there because I was too embarrassed for the childcare workers to see me with welled-up eyes. It was the first time she’d ever shown that kind of reception toward me, and I’ll never forget it.
Like the time our whole family gathered around to sing her happy birthday and she just stared in amazement at her cake.  I couldn’t believe we were standing around with dimmed lights and one brightly lit candle singing her that song. I was so overwhelmed by the privilege to be her mom in that moment, and the lump in my throat was back just like that.
And like the time three weeks ago when I spontaneously snipped her pacifier after weeks of dreading it, and she didn’t even care. It became very obvious that her wubbanub (pacifier) became more of our issue than Hadley’s issue when we unexpectedly got that emotional and choked up about physically cutting it. We held our breaths as she reached for it to put it in her mouth, but we busted out laughing when she yanked it out of her mouth, all what the heck is wrong with this thing?! and threw it to the floor. Exhale. That was ridiculous.
I didn’t cry when I put away her newborn clothes or packed up her bottles. I didn’t get emotional when she started crawling or walking. I can’t explain why some moments have left me cheering with excitement and others have physically taken my breath away. All I know is that being Hadley’s mom has been the most refining and humbling experience of my life and I’m so glad that God chose me to sit front row to watch her reach a lifetime more of milestones.

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