Five Tips for Maintaining Long-Distance Adults Friendships

My girlfriends are everything to me, and I cherish and protect several of my friendships like they’re precious stones. They really are!

I heard Jen Hatmaker say once that her husband has no idea how much her girlfriends take off of his plate, and I burst out laughing because I totally agree! I vent to them about everything under the sun, they turn my bad moods into happy ones, they make me feel loved, they encourage me, they set me straight when my thinking is way out of line.

I invest so much into friends that invest in me because my world is simply a whole lot brighter because of some of my girlfriends. Some of them are lifelong friends and some are new within the last few years. We don’t argue or get into spats. They’re not confrontational and neither am I. We give each other grace and love each other despite all of the ways we may be different (and trust me, my best friends are not my clones! We have a lot of differences.)

I’ve always been a very relational person and sink my teeth (and time… and money…) deep into the people who I don’t want to live without anymore. I’m long distance from all but a couple of my closest friends, so it can be a little tricky at times to not only maintain our adult friendships, but continue strengthening them despite our lives constantly heading in opposite directions.

Here are a few ways, big and small, that we intentionally strive to maintain our adult friendships with each other.

Talk on the phone.

It’s hard (!) to find time to catch up on the phone, but we try to squeeze in the time spontaneously when we can. If I see a friend calling, I almost always answer, get up off the couch, and use that time to do dishes, fold clothes, clean a bathroom, or straighten up toys. Chores aren’t nearly as painful when I’m distracted by a phone call! I love to text, but there’s just nothing like talking on the phone and catching up.

My best friend Ashley and I have the hardest time finding time to talk because whenever she’s free, I’m usually dealing with the girls and bedtime. So this past weekend, we talked at 8 a.m. on a Sunday! She was getting ready slowly for church and my girls were entertained with toys (this was the day we skipped church due to their colds.) We just find the time.

Send snapchats and texts.

Snapchat is my favorite. My absolute favorite. I may not post a whole lot on my actual story, but I send a lot of snaps to my family and best friends. And they send a lot to me! I feel like this is the most fun way to laugh at each others’ kids, express our moods in a funny way, or just share a little glimpse into real life. It’s so fun!

Send gifts.

We spoil each other rotten, and it’s so worth it. Some seasons are for receiving and some seasons are for giving, and we recognize those depending on who’s going through what and what the “pick me up” may be. From cards to Amazon deliveries to edible arrangements, I’ve received it all and sent it all. We do a lot of loving each other, and that money is well spent and an absolute investment.

Make plans to visit.

Traveling is tough tough tough when kids enter the picture and/or job demands are high. We still make the time and find the money though, and we try to always make sure the travel effort isn’t one-sided. It’s not always convenient (in fact it’s the exact opposite a lot of the time), but we do it and it’s worth it, even if it’s a short half of a day together. Time together is well spent!

Show interest in each other’s spouses and children.

My friends are interested in and ask about Jamie and the girls. They remember what big events may be coming up and they send texts and videos messages on birthdays. I’ll never forget when my college roommate/bridesmaid had her entire kindergarten class sing Happy Birthday to Hadley on her first birthday and then sent me the video. It was just the sweetest thing. I could name a million examples like this. We care about each other’s families and their well-beings.

Let’s chat!

How do you maintain long-distance friendships?