You’ve Probably Heard the News… :)

Yesterday I shared a big secret that I’ve been absolutely bursting to tell you: baby DeSpain #3 is well on his or her way!

And the song I’ve had stuck in my head since the day we found out is Thomas Rhett’s “Life Changes”.

Ain’t it funny how life changes
You wake up, ain’t nothing the same and life changes
You can’t stop it, just hop on the train and
You never know what’s gonna happen
You make your plans and you hear God laughin’
Life changes, and I wouldn’t change it for the world

And everybody (!!!) wants to know the answer to the same question: Was this planned?! 😉

Ha. Ha ha ha.

I’ll be honest –

It wasn’t planned by us, but it was planned by God for this baby to be a part of our family at the beginning of time. He knew all along that there would be a third DeSpain baby, even though we were so resistant to the idea. The funny thing is, we decided at least a couple of years ago that our family was complete. I’m being quite open about this now because I’ve been semi open about it in the past. In fact, several of you messaged me over the weekend confused because you thought we were done. 😉

The problem is that Jamie and I have both had tiny holes in our heart about this decision to be done. If we so surely do not want to try for another baby, why does it not feel right? Why can’t we be at peace with our complete family? What is missing? I can’t even explain the headspace Jamie and I were in, but it was a weird place to be. And it was bothering me that we both felt this way. Arg.

We’d talked and talked ourselves around the world about the conversation, and we just couldn’t put our finger on why we were so unsettled but at the same time “so” sure that another biological baby wasn’t in the cards.

Now we know with 100% crystal clear clarity why we’ve felt such a stirring in our hearts that something was in the cards for us: It was this baby at this exact time. And goodness gracious – he or she is so meant to be here and is going to do such big things in this world. And we are the lucky one that get to raise up this kiddo. Ahh. What is life.

I’m 11 weeks Monday, and this babe is looking as health as could be! I’m not much of a secret keeper and am generally an open book about everything, so we’ve enjoyed sharing this news rather quickly with family and friends. I didn’t have any big ideas for how to share the news on social media, so I filmed a quick video of the girls on Saturday and decided to share it on a whim since it turned out pretty stinkin’ cute. 😉

https://www.instagram.com/p/BramlZHHg_e/

We’ve had two ultrasounds, and babe is looking great! Strong heartbeat last week at 170 (!!!) and was just bopping around like crazy!

This first trimester has been very difficult, which may answer your question about why things have been more quiet and unpredictable on my blog and social media the last 6ish weeks. I would say the last month has unfortunately been one of the hardest of my life, but I’m so grateful to be feeling better mentally and physically. The silver lining to a difficult first trimester is that I’m emerging with loads and loads of newfound empathy for others who struggle with specific issues I previously knew nothing about, but now I sure do. Whew. I hope to share more in the future.

I’m sooooooo happy to have this big news off of my chest and take you along on this journey! Thank you thank you for loving us and being so darn excited for us this weekend! I love sharing life with you!

More: Our announcement that we were expecting baby #2